I learned to accept it was the illness causing the frightening symptoms, not the person. When I was able to look at the symptoms of the illness and my daughter as separate entities, I was much better able to handle the situation and show empathy instead of anger. This illness was not my daughter; it was just an unwelcome addition that I had to learn to handle. What had become a miserable struggle with constant conflict, was replaced with an educational experience that changed my life and that of my daughter. Blaming bad behavior initially, caused frustration and anger which made the situation worse and was so unfair. Realizing my daughter had no control over the symptoms of mental illness allowed me to see the situation more clearly and use compassion and empathy to heal our relationship.